Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Yesterday .......

So my baby boy, my first born turned 11yr old yesterday! We had a great weekend and birthday, he went to his first Seahawks game last weekend with his Daddy, a family party on Sun. and then yesterday daddy made his 11 pancake for breakfast, his goof friend came over, I made cupcakes for his football teem then we had a very delicious dinner and opened presents. He went to bed a happy little....... big boy!

Here's the lemons..........
The only gift he really wanted was a PSP game thing. Now for those that don't know they run brand new about $200.00 and games are $20.00 - $50.00, YIKES! There is know way we can afford that. As a mother and father all we want is to create a healthy, happy, safe place for them and also to give them the things they truly desire. Now some times that's not always the best for them, I get that but when it is all they have talked about for a year and they are a good kid with such a great attitude about things (most of the time) as a parent you do what you can. Maxx is the kind of kid that name brand matters to him. I am thinking he gets this from his daddy cause I sure as heck am not like that. As I write this I am sporting a $2.00 T-shirt from Walmart! LOL But my son Maxx is...... he wanted Micheal Jordan ($100.00) shoes for school!!! His clothes have to be a certain way and brands, his shoes, clothes, tooth paste & tooth brush. The others aren't like this, they are fine with what ever as long as it isn't "dorky". With four kids Josh and I do what we can but money is tight, very tight! We pretty much keep even, and that is a stretch.....
Because of this we have to do a lot of praying and getting creative.

Here's the meringue.........

I first and far most give my gratitude to the Lord, he has NEVER let us down and he never will!!!
Last payday I took the boys out for school shoes, not really having much to spend BUT it had to be done. We went to Ross (thank God for Ross), before we went into the store I told the boys "$20.00 bucks, that's all I can afford!" they excepted that and we went in. As we were looking I came across a pair of black Micheal Jordan's, they were the wrong size so I didn't say any thing and said a little prayer. We found Myles a pair he really liked, some black & white high top Converse skate boarder shoes for $15.00. I kept my eye out for another pair of Jordan's but so far no luck, we came across a pair he said was ok but I could tell he wasn't thrilled! Just when I was about to give up there on the top shelf in an area that was off to the side was a pair of all black Micheal Jordan's in his size. They were $21.99 but with the money I saved with Myles's shoes it worked out!!! I was even saving money : ) God provides!!!

Later when we got home Josh informed me that he found a PSP on craigslist for $100.00!!! He was waiting to get a call back so we were still holding our breath. A $100.00 is about what we have set as what we can spend on their birthdays at this time in our life so this was possibly the answer. When we got the call back it was a young teen "gamer" that said he had out grown it and hadn't touched it in moths. He was selling with all the original packaging and....... 8 GAMES!!!
He wanted to meet Josh in Gorst so off Josh went. When he got back I couldn't believe what a deal we got it for, it looked brand new and had EVERY THING it needed including a carrying case! The next day we surprised Maxx with tickets to his first

Seahawks game, another complete blessing from the Lord. Josh has a good buddy at work that has season tickets to the Hawks. He doesn't like to sell the tickets he can't make it to the games on, instead he likes to give them to people and he happened to ask Josh if he would like the tickets..... Duh!!! So for the cost of the ferry (walking) a couple hot dogs from an out side vendor and a soda, Maxx got to go to his first ever Seahawks game! Some thing he will NEVER forget : )
Again, God is too good!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Back to school......

So as of today there are 5 days till school starts and for crazy people like me, 4 days (I never count the present day or the day of when doing a count down to some thing, it's how I roll.) : )
I love summer break and being able to spend time with my children. But I am going to confess some thing girls..... (this is were the lemons come into play). As my kids get older I have found that summer break is just a bit to wearing on me, I have much guilt over this! When I read peoples comments on FB about being so sad for school to start and their kids being gone all day, I ask my self "what is wrong with you Amber"? My be in all fairness the last 3 summers haven't been the best environments. I was pregnant the first, my dad had just died the second and this last summer I had my mom living with us.
Really what gets to me is the fighting, bickering and rudeness!!! It's as if they hate each other and are on consent battle grounds. I ask them if they love each other they say yes! I ask them if they wish their siblings were gone they say NO! So I ask them whats the deal? No answer. I feel completely worn out, stressed out and fed up. This then causes me to feel like a failure as a parent. I try to entertain them, plan ahead and stay calm but to be honest I don't believe that my job as a mother is to have every moment of their day planned out and scheduled. This causes them to not use their imaginations and creative play. I think to many kids today spend to much time "being entertained" and then get out on their own and never feel satisfied because they expect some one else to come along and entertain them!

Back to me being a failure...... I don't think I am! I know I am a good mother (not perfect, thank God) but good and that I am doing the best that I can (most days) with what I have at this season in time. I look at my babies and I am so grateful God blessed us with 4 healthy, happy, and beautiful children. I also ask God "Am I doing things good enough? Is there more I should be doing? I'm I making the best choices for them?"
Take for instance the other day, while we were in the grocery store. Maxx asked if I would please go back to the reg. peanut butter bc he could not stand the new stuff? I asked him what is it about the new stuff you don't like? His reply...... (big shocker) he didn't have one! LOL But then went on whining about it and saying it is torture and he can't have any sandwiches any more bc he can't stand the new mayo ether!!!! It got to the point he was near tears, over peanut butter and mayo....... REALLY!?
I had made a decision a while back to start making better choices for our family in our eating. For the rest of us this was fine but for Maxx it has been like we have tied him down and dripped water over his head for months!
So in this case am I really making the right choice for him if every day we are getting up set and near tears bc of a sandwich? Is it worth the endless whining over peanut butter???? I think so...... but is that being the mom he needs or is it better if I give in and get him the stinking mayo he prefers?
This is just a tiny example of the tug-o-war in my heart with the my ability to raise my kids.
I go to bed at night not able to sleep some times bc I am feeling guilty over a decision I made during the day that upset one of them! CRAZY, I know!!!! I lay there asking God to give me peace and insight on the direction in the decisions I make for them.

Here is the Meringue........
I am only 1/2 of their upbringing!!! "Praise God!" I am grateful to have Josh to help in the choices and decisions of their lives.
My heart cries out to those single, hard working parents that have to play both roles in their kid's life. They have no choice, those are the cards life dealt them and they are doing the best they can and the friends I have that are doing it all alone are doing it good!

Back to Josh, he is a good dad with a heart to serve the Lord, love his wife and be the best he can for his kids! I admire the hard work he puts in to provide for us and then the time he puts into coaching, yes it is his passion but fortunately his passion of coaching is some thing he is good at AND some thing he gets to do with his kids. He has his issues and thank goodness they aren't the same as mine or our kids would really have it tough! LOL But really who doesn't?!
We balance each other and I know when I am failing at one or two parts I can go to him and he will step in and take it from there as I do for him!
I have faith in the Lord that these are His children and chose to give them to Josh & I to raise, trusting that we can (with Him) do our best for them!!! That is at the end of the day what I need to stay focused on.

OH- back to the subject of going back to school.......... sure I will miss seeing them through out the day, hugging & kissing me, making me laugh at the right moment BUT I do look forward to us ALL getting back into a rhythm. Grocery shopping with only ONE child, cleaning the house in the morning and it not getting dirty till 4:00pm! The smell of yummy home cooked meals filling the house, Sat. football games, fall colors and smells all around. I get a thrill just writhing about it ; )
I don't feel bad, I am just not that kind of mom and that is OK, it does not mean I love them less or am not as good as others. It just means summer is to darn LONG!!!!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Family picnic.....

So this coming weekend is our family picnic, now this is not your grandma's back yard kinda family reunion. This is and has been my hole life a BIG, BIG event!
See it all started with my Grandma & Grandpa, they had ten children (yes I said 10). My momma is the youngest. So one summer way..... back when they started to gather every summer for a picnic. Now if you can imagine how big this family was then? Just take i minute and wrap your mind around the size now! 10 kids all had kids, they all had kids and now they are starting to have kids!!! Not every one of them come every yr. life gets in the way, but for the most part we have an attendance of roughly 100 people! For most of these people they have to travel from all parts of WA into ID and down to CA. We all meet here in Poulsbo at my Aunt & Uncles property. They live on 20+ acres off of bound road. We are blessed to have this place to go to, it has the space for those that camp (many do). There has always been a lard group of us that head over Fri. for the weekend, we sit around the bonfire catching up on the years events, roast many different types of meat and then move on to the marshmallows....... YUMMY! People have been known to break out into song or play a guitar, laugh a little to hard, eat to much and of coarse there is the yearly idiot that drinks to much and ends up doing some thing stupid. Sat. morning the rest of the family starts to arrive. Quit some years ago we decided to build a nice big covered area were we can crowd under in the rain, have a dry place to put our massive amounts of potluck dishes, a cool huge brick and metal fire place to keep food hot and people warm in our lovely Aug. weather. You can't imagine just how many picnic.s have taken place in the rain, pouring down rain!!! It is lined with picnic tables, and my Aunt went and got those cool outdoor party lights to stream along the log beams and it gives this cool mellow feel : ) Now with all those people were do we all "go" well we started to rent 2 port-a-potties and to pay for those potties? We started having a raffle for a fun way to make money for the expenses. People bring items new, used & bought. It is a lot of fun! There is a big pond with a dock for swimming, a nice huge grass lawn for the all day volley ball, there is a sand bank for the kids to play. We have an egg toss and a pie eating contest and a penny hunt : )
But probably the most
entertaining is our family tradition....... see one of those first picnics years ago at the end of the picnic when all were packing up there sat a camp stove with a pot sitting on it and in the pot sat a lone some hot dog. Well it being the end of the picnic & all two of my uncles were in a good mood and one bet the other a couple of bucks that he couldn't bring home the weenie, keep it safe and bring it back the fallowing year. Well it was brought back with a little poem about sitting in a freezer for the year and the money was exchanged. Then it went from there to a crazy tradition.
Every year that same hot dog (Weenie to us) has gone home with a lucky drawing winner and is to care for it keeping it safe, bring it back with a poem/short story and a little
display in it's shadow box some one built it! LOL This is know joke to our family, we even had to create a rule book for the lil guy because words and fist have been thrown over him! Oh your "reward" $5.00 from every single person that has had the weenie OR is eligible to draw for the weenie. Last year the pot wast crazy big, about $200 big ones!!! $200.00 for sticking a petrified hot dog in a shoe box and keeping it out of harm....... Well that sums it up, that in a nut shell is our second Sat. of Aug. All I have left to leave you with is our family quote..... "We're not just any hot dogs, we're WEENIES!"

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Getting started.....

I use to blog about 3yr. ago but when I got pregnant with our 4th it was one of the few things that kinda got lost in the mess of life. I loved doing it when I did, it seems to me that my life is a fun, crazy, mess and I love sharing that!!!
I have been thinking about getting back into to blogging for some time now and to be honest I simply haven't because a close friend of mine blogs (quite well I might add) and I didn't want her to think I was copying her..... LOL silly, I know! I talked to her about it, she is good. : )

So to catch you up as simply as I can. In April of 2009 (last year) my dad committed suicide leaving my mother completely broke, homeless, and alone....... basically on our door step. She moved into our 3bd. 2bth. with a rec. room, that we have made into her room house! It can be crazy around here at times but that's our life.