Tuesday, May 24, 2011

It's NOT always sunny in Poulsbo!

Today is MAY 24th 2011........ Ok, so what?! I will tell you what!

It is almost stinking JUNE and I am looking out at cloudy, gray skies with a possible high of 66 and rain predicted for the next week!!!! Now I understand that 66 isn't to bad and some love this weather, I DON'T! In my perfect world it would be sunny with a few (very few) puffy white clouds floating by and it would be in the upper 70's. But no, it is this God awful weather and I feel like I am beginning to suffocate in it! I need LIGHT & SUN. The weather here alone is enough to make me want to move!

Josh & I moved with our 3 kids to Poulsbo In January 2006, 5 years (& counting) ago. We left our dream city for the health of our family. At the time the place was right but not the environment. So we packed up and rolled out of town in the middle of the night (a story for another day maybe). We chose Poulsbo for really one reason, it was familiar . We had family here and near here and I spent summers here with my Aunt from birth on.
Looking back now I see that God called us here for many reasons : ) We are grateful for that and blessed by the love, support and friends that have come into our life. These last five years have been amazing! We gained the family we did not have & needed through th
is place & our church, what was formally known as Christ Memorial and is now Gateway Fellowship. I don't think it could be possible to fit into one blog the blessings and amazing shows of love Christ has filled our family with in our time here. My eyes fill with tears as my memory is flooded with the events in witch God has touched our life! To name a very few of the most significant things would be these and in no real order.
* Josh started to build his relationship with Christ
* I over came my insecurities, I'm not nor will I ever be totally free from them. But I can live strong, secure, and firm in who Christ is shaping me to be as a women, wife, mother and friend!
* My kids have been saved and know who their savor is!
* I was blessed with being a part of the moms group
* God gave Josh a job.
* Our family was given Alivia
* Through my dad's terrible death we have found life!
* Friends that I know with out a doubt would wake at 3am to be there for me & my family!!!
There is so much more but you get the point, we are richly blessed!

So here is the real question.
Why would any one want to move if God has given you so much and things are so good?
1~ Poulsbo was never intended to be forever, we all knew that.
2~ Josh and I have felt the stir and pull to move on from Christ for quit some time now.
3~ Josh has a secure job for a great company that isn't paying him enough to support a family of 6 and as our kids get older it is getting more expensive to support them.
4~ The weather is depressing....... This last winter was so hard on us, especially Josh! He/we need warmer sunnier weather.
5~ If God is calling you to do some thing you should do it.
6~ Why wouldn't we go? We believe that when things are good and you become comfortable it is time to move (not always location but take action, get out of your comfort zone). God can't grow you if you aren't willing to get stretched and flexible!!!

So we are entering June, our lease is up in March 2012, if God wants this to happen then we will hold faith and follow His calls..... It just better be warm & sunny ; )

One thing more to add, One of the most important things I have learned is that being with those I LOVE is enough...... it doesn't always mean family, I don't need a fancy car or a big ne
w house, all I need is the ones I love and I'll be okay : )

Well the sun just came out, I better go get what vitamin D I can before it's gone again!!!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Sugar, gardening, babies & other addicting habbits......

I am so excited to have my "lil pinky" (pink little laptop) back up & running!!! Like many of the broken things around my house they have to wait in a government length line before getting proper attention and being fixed. LOL It is not that my man can't or wont fix them it is just that there is really never time.
His day goes some thing like this...
5:00 am- alarm goes off
5:10 am- snooze
5:20 am- snooze
5:30 am- finally out of bed
6:00 am- get to work
2:00 pm - leave work
2:15 pm - home
2:30 pm - P90X (work out with me)!
3:40 pm - run out door to get boys from school
4:00 pm - back with boys
4:05 pm - home work/get caught up on days events
4:30 pm - get ready for base/softball
4:45 pm - out the door to game and/or practices
on average the games are 6-8 but Maxx does have games till 10:00pm some nights!!!
8:30 pm - all showered
9:00 pm - ALL KIDS IN BED!!!
9 - 11pm - Josh & I sit staring blankly at TV & computer to exhausted for "married" time or even meaningful conversation....
11:00 pm - go to bed
11:01 pm - OUT LIKE A LIGHT!!!

So how could he get any thing else done?! I know there are people that think we are crazy, insane and nuts. The truth is some times we are!!! We talk about this often and question ourselves at times but this is what our kids like and we do too. Josh too LOVED playing sports as a child and wanted nothing more then to have his family there in the stands cheering him on. So now that his kids are choosing (it is always their choice) to play sports he is determined to be on the field or in the stands and ALWAYS supporting them. They could choose to play (cough... choke, wink, wink) soccer of all things and he would pull through his horror and cheer them on.
: ) He is a great dad and I love his devotion to supporting his kids!

On to my addition......

Hello my name is Amber and I'm a sugarholic.
In my some what recent decision to take my weight serious and get healthy I had to evaluate my diet/eating habits. I realized that there was some things that had to GO..... pop aka soda-gone, fast food-see ya, easy ready to cook processed food-wont miss it, sodium-don't need it, but sugar....? Sweet, yummy, white, brown, powdered sugar!? Oh now that is another story!!! I can cut it WAY back, almost to nothing and then BAM it calls to me from a maple donut or a choco cup cake with pink icing. I walk by it eyes focusing on a juicy, sweet, crisp apple and tell it "no baby, I only have eyes for you. I promise!" LIES...... I sit on a mountain of lies. Poor apple, it never had a chance, all it wants to do is be faithful and love me but I go and cheat on it with a spoon in the frosting jar! "sob, sob"
Never the less I go on after each fling or affair and reset my thinking with a new attitude! One day I will prove myself to you apple, we will be together. don't give up on me yet!

BABIES...... I love them almost as much as sugar ; )
Josh & I have closed the baby making shop, locked the door and walked away but I can't help it...... Alivia is 2 and I have baby fever! I know it will pass but I am obsessed. I will see a prego momma and my hand will subconsciously rub my belly, I will hear one cry in a store and get the urge to nurse, I see a new momma 3 days deep in sleepless nights and I want to "rescue" her by "borrowing" her baby for a day, month or year! It is a sick problem...... one I know I will get over some day, I hope! In the mean time I will snuggle the love-O-lishes Evie and all the other sweet smelling babies in my life : )) Don't worry, I wont go taking one. Josh would only make me give it back any ways! ; )

Well I was going to touch on gardening but this post has given me
carpal tunnel so I'll touch on that next time, now that lil pinky is back in service!!!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dream birth

I felt compelled to post my feelings about birth (my birth) tonight on a facebook page I am a fan of. It is a page focused on birth with out fear, some thing I wholeheartedly believe in!!! this was my post and how I feel.
I am a mother of 4 (all c-sec) and each of my babies birth stories are very different from one another. Though they all ended in a c-sec it was honestly never MY choice.... As young as I can remember all I ever wanted was to be a mother (I was the 12yr old walking through the mall with a cabbage patch kid swaddled in a blanky)! Along with this dream came the excitement for birthing my children, I never feared it!
At 22yr I had my first baby and that bubble was popped, here I was a young military momma and I had NO ONE in my corner giving me the advise, encouragement, and most of all the confidence to go against what I was being told was right vs. what I KNEW my body could do if given the chance! Sadly because I had one c-sec I was told from day one that #2 would have to most likely be the same (that was a midwife, I was trying for a v-bac!) then #3 they told me I was out of my mind to even consider a v-bac, by #4 I had crushed my dream of birthing a baby rather then it being ripped out of me in a cold sterile room.

Now I am done having babies but the fight in me for momma's to KNOW all the facts, feel supported and realize that they can say no, ask questions and be supported in their decision of birth WHAT EVER THAT IS it as strong as ever! I wasn't given that chance and I mourn the loss of that dream every day....
Thank God for there being women focused on education, support, and encouraging women to not be afraid of birth but to be strong, go for your dream birth!!!